My daughter's 4-H group is putting together a crab themed basket for a quarter auction this weekend. I was supposed to find something to add to it, but I am finding that to be difficult. Now, being in Maryland you would think that would be easy, but due to the dearth of retail establishments and the theme of the task, it like the back of the fridge it's just something I would like to pretend doesn't exist.
I can tolerate small shrimp, the texture is not too bad, but larger shrimp, lobsters and crab are beyond consideration. First is the texture, it feels gristly. Not pleasant. Then there is the smell, again shrimp are by far the least offenders, but lobsters and crabs repulse me. I want to hold my breath when they are being cooked, and to sit next to someone who is ripping them apart and spattering the whole table with their rotting kelp strewn shoreline, low-tide scented juices makes me want to run for the mountains. They smell a little too much like that chicken casserole.
Having avoided everything crab and every event involving crab, I am an alien to crab culture. I know there are special utensils, customs and attire for the events--but how these are materials are located and used is beyond me. I'm from chowda-n-clamcake-land, I could write for hours about the customs and shades of meaning in the sentence, "I'd like a cuppa chowda." Red? White? Clear? Ethnic spin? Thick? Thin? Salt pork? Bacon? Sausage? Milk or cream? This is a culture I am comfortable with, crabs--blue or red? No.
I took a 12 hour break from writing.
I have now successfully found and delivered the crabby item. I was heading to the sculpture garden today, so I checked the gift shop. Within a minute of my inquiry about all things crabby, I was holding a really nice crab keychain that will help to secure a bow to the top of the gift basket. Nothing too weird or smelly necessary to complete my mission, I'lve had enough smelly for this week.