Monday, July 4, 2016

Need Real Life Hacks!

You'd thought I had quit this blog didn't, you?

I have been working, and with that my amount of free time without interruptions (meaning alone time) has gone down close to zero, so the blogging just hasn't happened.

I just ran across a website that gives clever life hacks for women, I find most of them puzzling.  broken lipstick repairs (my kid was about eight looking through my purse for gum or my sunglasses and came across a lipstick, pulled it out and asked me what it was, because she had never seen it used), putting on bracelets when you're alone, using a wine bottle to store bracelets, making your own nail polish using loose eye shadow and clear nail polish... the only one that I thought was sort of useful was to wear big thick socks with new shoes around the house to break them in.  I've been doing that for years. The rest were silly.  It's time to stop treating women as if they are silly, we know better.

Here are real problems that I think there is need for a hack:

I want a life hack to help carry a sleeping 30 lb toddler into the house on icy pavement, with five bags of groceries, unlocking the deadbolt and the knob and keeping two cats from darting outside when the door first opens. (Clearly an old one, my kid is 14.)  I did it many times, I want it to be easier for moms in the future.  I have no idea how I did it, I just did. For many years when someone asks me if I need help with all my bags, I flash back to these instances and think, where were you then????

I want alarms to signal that an object that has been placed on the counter really needs to go into the recycle bin.

I also want alarms to go off if my glass of water is approached by a cat.  Apparently my little fuzzies prefer filtered water, they drink out of my ever-present water glass whenever it is left unattended. If they cannot reach the water because the level is too low in the glass, they just knock it over and drink the puddle, as it ruins everything around it.  I bought plastic cups with tops and straws, but I like to drink out of glass, not plastic, I'm weird that way.

I want a remote that will turn off all my kid's electronics at once from the far side of the house, and/or a microphone that cuts into her headphone Skype conversation to ask her to take the dog out or to join the world of the living, so that I don't have to stop making meatballs, wash my hands, place meatballs in a location where the dog/cats won't sample them, walk across the house, only to scare the crud out of her when I tap her on the shoulder to tell her she has to take the dog out.

 Now those would be useful hacks!!